ABOUT THE F.E.E.L. METHOD
The F.E.E.L. Method is the culmination of all the years of counseling and doing group intensives to help men overcome their problematic sexual behaviors. One night at an intensive, I was seeking a new direction to take my small group. This concept was made to clear to me, using the acronym FEEL. Feel the pain, Evaluate the pain, Emerge from the pain, and Let It Go. This intensive is not about surface-level change. It’s about addressing the deeper wounds that keep the cycle going.
To be more specific:
F-Feel The Pain. The typical building blocks of addiction start when we try to escape emotional discomfort or pain early in our lives. The individual must navigate through the pain to a place where they can fully function and manage their life moving forward in a healthy way. There are a number of avenues by which we can be affected. Using the 9-letter acronym S.T.RA.N.G.L.E.D. (Stress, Trauma, Rejection, Abandonment, Neglect, Grief, Loss, Expectations, Disappointments) and various offshoots of these, we can usually find specific ways in which a soul received pain.
E- Evaluate The Pain. To know when the emotional discomfort or pain began, a thorough search into one's childhood, family of origin and other circumstances must take place. This is sometimes a scary proposition for many who have spent their whole life trying to distance themselves from traumatic experience(s). One of the ways we do this is to talk through FEELINGS, NEEDS, TRUTH and ACTION. Feelings are like symptoms that show us where our true need(s) lie. When needs are exposed it helps us understand what has been driving and dictating our behaviors for so long. We apply truth to the pain - Truth allows us to compare what narrative or emotional construct we have erected causing us to see ourselves, others and most importantly, God through a filter of pain. Action gives us steps to follow that will back up the internal work we are doing to achieve healing and freedom.
E - Emerge From The Pain. Just like a baby bird fighting through its shell or the butterfly fighting to remove itself from its cocoon, there is a necessary part played by you but in joint effort with God. If the bird or butterfly is not allowed to fight for its survival it will not have the strength to survive. Likewise this is an inherent trait of these creatures given to them by God. What is it that the individual must do according to how God has created them and what is it that God must be allowed to do in order to bring one to a place of healing and freedom?
L - Let Go of the Pain. Letting go is not careless, It is not forgetting. It is a proactive stance against that which has wreaked havoc in one's soul for a very long time. It involves three main elements. FORGIVENESS, RELEASING, BLESSING. We need to forgive the individual who hurt us. We must release them, holding no offense toward them and allow God to deal with them instead of us. We must also bless them, taking a stance that longs to see them find their place and purpose in life as well as their own healing from what has caused them to hurt us in the first place. Then we must forgive ourselves and no longer allow shame to dictate our behaviors, emotions or thoughts.
To be more specific:
F-Feel The Pain. The typical building blocks of addiction start when we try to escape emotional discomfort or pain early in our lives. The individual must navigate through the pain to a place where they can fully function and manage their life moving forward in a healthy way. There are a number of avenues by which we can be affected. Using the 9-letter acronym S.T.RA.N.G.L.E.D. (Stress, Trauma, Rejection, Abandonment, Neglect, Grief, Loss, Expectations, Disappointments) and various offshoots of these, we can usually find specific ways in which a soul received pain.
E- Evaluate The Pain. To know when the emotional discomfort or pain began, a thorough search into one's childhood, family of origin and other circumstances must take place. This is sometimes a scary proposition for many who have spent their whole life trying to distance themselves from traumatic experience(s). One of the ways we do this is to talk through FEELINGS, NEEDS, TRUTH and ACTION. Feelings are like symptoms that show us where our true need(s) lie. When needs are exposed it helps us understand what has been driving and dictating our behaviors for so long. We apply truth to the pain - Truth allows us to compare what narrative or emotional construct we have erected causing us to see ourselves, others and most importantly, God through a filter of pain. Action gives us steps to follow that will back up the internal work we are doing to achieve healing and freedom.
E - Emerge From The Pain. Just like a baby bird fighting through its shell or the butterfly fighting to remove itself from its cocoon, there is a necessary part played by you but in joint effort with God. If the bird or butterfly is not allowed to fight for its survival it will not have the strength to survive. Likewise this is an inherent trait of these creatures given to them by God. What is it that the individual must do according to how God has created them and what is it that God must be allowed to do in order to bring one to a place of healing and freedom?
L - Let Go of the Pain. Letting go is not careless, It is not forgetting. It is a proactive stance against that which has wreaked havoc in one's soul for a very long time. It involves three main elements. FORGIVENESS, RELEASING, BLESSING. We need to forgive the individual who hurt us. We must release them, holding no offense toward them and allow God to deal with them instead of us. We must also bless them, taking a stance that longs to see them find their place and purpose in life as well as their own healing from what has caused them to hurt us in the first place. Then we must forgive ourselves and no longer allow shame to dictate our behaviors, emotions or thoughts.
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This method is administered in the form of a facilitated three day intensive designed to help those in attendance receive the tools they need to move through life, not only dealing with past pains but triggers that have helped reinforce that pain. This pain has governed your life for so long and it has created wounded inner children operating independent of each other to steer you away from pain. Picture a car that is careening out of control and there are multiple hands on the steering wheel with each person crying out, "GO THIS WAY! NO WE HAVE TO GO THAT WAY!" That would be sure fire way to end up in wreck even if you were not careening off the road.
This is why it needs to be facilitated by someone who has had the traumatic life events, addiction life experience and has found healing and freedom in Jesus Christ by submitting to the arduous task of facing and surrendering his pain. That's where I come in. :)
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
I bring the intensive to you—making it both accessible and affordable.
We typically host the event in a local church (hopefully donated space), utilizing available meeting space. I would be honored to connect with your pastor or leadership team to explore that opportunity. The intensive runs Thursday through Saturday, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM each day.
By coming to your area rather than hosting at a retreat center, we eliminate many of the typical costs. Participants can sleep in their own homes, eat breakfast and dinner there, and only need to plan for lunch each day. This approach significantly reduces the financial burden while still providing a focused, immersive experience.
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE INTENSIVE
Each participant receives The F.E.E.L. Method workbook—designed to help uncover and process early wounds, past experiences, and present triggers that shape current behaviors. The weekend includes a blend of large group teaching and small group interaction. Participants will engage guided exercises individually, then process them in table groups through sharing, discussion, and prayer.
As deeper emotional material surfaces, strong responses are both natural and expected. This is where intentional facilitation is critical. I will be present throughout to help participants navigate those moments safely and meaningfully, allowing grief to become part of the healing process rather than something to avoid.
There is also an optional opportunity to step into the “hot seat”—a guided moment where an individual can share a significant experience with the group and receive direct support and facilitation toward healing.
WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS?
If you have not yet attended a foundational intensive—such as Be Broken Ministries’ Gateway to Freedom (which I lead in the Southeast)—it is generally recommended to begin there. These experiences help establish stability and boundaries before engaging deeper emotional work.
However, if attending a prior intensive is not financially feasible, The F.E.E.L. Method is designed to meet you where you are. It is a mid-level intensive. It can both help stabilize behaviors and begin addressing deeper wounds.
For continued growth, I strongly encourage:
HOW BIG OF AN EVENT IS THIS?
We require a minimum of 10 participants, with 20 as the maximum. The ideal range is 14–16, allowing for deep connection without losing the intimacy of the group. If demand exceeds capacity, additional intensives can be scheduled.
The only logistical requirement besides per person payment is covering travel (mileage or airfare) and lodging. When shared across participants, this cost remains very manageable. I also aim to keep travel simple and cost-conscious.
If the hosting church would like to provide light breakfast items, that is appreciated but not required. Additionally, if a local home is available for lodging (a married couple or single man willing to host), that can further reduce costs—but this is entirely optional.
After all that, should you wish to schedule a The F.E.E.L. Method Intensive please contact me using the contact form below. The cost is $399 per person plus expenses. That's it!
This is why it needs to be facilitated by someone who has had the traumatic life events, addiction life experience and has found healing and freedom in Jesus Christ by submitting to the arduous task of facing and surrendering his pain. That's where I come in. :)
HOW DOES THIS WORK?
I bring the intensive to you—making it both accessible and affordable.
We typically host the event in a local church (hopefully donated space), utilizing available meeting space. I would be honored to connect with your pastor or leadership team to explore that opportunity. The intensive runs Thursday through Saturday, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM each day.
By coming to your area rather than hosting at a retreat center, we eliminate many of the typical costs. Participants can sleep in their own homes, eat breakfast and dinner there, and only need to plan for lunch each day. This approach significantly reduces the financial burden while still providing a focused, immersive experience.
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE INTENSIVE
Each participant receives The F.E.E.L. Method workbook—designed to help uncover and process early wounds, past experiences, and present triggers that shape current behaviors. The weekend includes a blend of large group teaching and small group interaction. Participants will engage guided exercises individually, then process them in table groups through sharing, discussion, and prayer.
As deeper emotional material surfaces, strong responses are both natural and expected. This is where intentional facilitation is critical. I will be present throughout to help participants navigate those moments safely and meaningfully, allowing grief to become part of the healing process rather than something to avoid.
There is also an optional opportunity to step into the “hot seat”—a guided moment where an individual can share a significant experience with the group and receive direct support and facilitation toward healing.
WHAT ARE THE REQUIREMENTS?
If you have not yet attended a foundational intensive—such as Be Broken Ministries’ Gateway to Freedom (which I lead in the Southeast)—it is generally recommended to begin there. These experiences help establish stability and boundaries before engaging deeper emotional work.
However, if attending a prior intensive is not financially feasible, The F.E.E.L. Method is designed to meet you where you are. It is a mid-level intensive. It can both help stabilize behaviors and begin addressing deeper wounds.
For continued growth, I strongly encourage:
- Working with a qualified counselor
- Participating in a consistent accountability group such as 423 Communities or Samson Society
- Staying connected to a recovery-focused community
HOW BIG OF AN EVENT IS THIS?
We require a minimum of 10 participants, with 20 as the maximum. The ideal range is 14–16, allowing for deep connection without losing the intimacy of the group. If demand exceeds capacity, additional intensives can be scheduled.
The only logistical requirement besides per person payment is covering travel (mileage or airfare) and lodging. When shared across participants, this cost remains very manageable. I also aim to keep travel simple and cost-conscious.
If the hosting church would like to provide light breakfast items, that is appreciated but not required. Additionally, if a local home is available for lodging (a married couple or single man willing to host), that can further reduce costs—but this is entirely optional.
After all that, should you wish to schedule a The F.E.E.L. Method Intensive please contact me using the contact form below. The cost is $399 per person plus expenses. That's it!
