Zoom Recovery Coaching
DISCLAIMER: We do not offer trauma based services such as EMDR, Brainspotting or Tapping. If you have been deeply traumatized and need deeper work, please seek a certified trauma therapist, preferably in your community.
Utilizing a number of resources, The Silent Addiction primarily applies the F.E.E.L. method for helping overcome dependence upon the individual's sexual coping and escape mechanisms. F.E.E.L. stands for:
F-Feel The Pain. The typical building blocks of addiction start when we try to escape emotional discomfort or pain. The individual must navigate through the pain to a place where they can fully function and manage their life moving forward in a healthy way. There are a number of avenues by which we can be affected. Using the acronym T.A.N.G.L.E.D. (Trauma, Abandonment, Grief, Loss, Expectations, Disappointment) and various offshoots of these, we can usually find specific ways in which a soul received pain.
E- Evaluate The Pain. To know when the emotional discomfort or pain began, a thorough search into one's childhood, family of origin and other circumstance must take place. This is sometimes a scary proposition for many who have spent their whole life trying to distance themselves from the traumatic experience(s). The way we do this is to talk through FEELINGS, NEEDS, TRUTH. Feelings are like symptoms that show us where our true need(s) lie. When needs are exposed it helps us understand what has been driving and dictating our behaviors for so long. Truth allows us to determine what narrative or emotional construct we have erected causing us to see ourselves, others and most importantly, God through a filter which may not be correct.
E - Emerge From The Pain. Just like a baby bird fighting through its shell or the butterfly fighting to remove itself from its cocoon, there is a necessary part played by you but in joint effort with God. If the bird or butterfly is not allowed to fight for its survival it will not have the strength to survive. Likewise this is an inherent trait of these creatures given to them by God. What is it that he individual must do according to how God has created them and what is it that God must be allowed to do in order to bring one to a place of healing and freedom?
L - Let It Go. A phrase made even more famous by Disney, Let it Go is much more than just forgetting about it. It is a proactive stance against that which has wreaked havoc in one's soul for a very long time. It involves three elements. FORGIVENESS, RELEASING, BLESSING. We need to forgive the individual who hurt us. We must release them holding no offense toward them and allow God to deal with them instead of us. We must also bless them, taking a stance that longs to see them find their place and purpose in life as well as their own healing from what has caused them to hurt us in the first place.
F-Feel The Pain. The typical building blocks of addiction start when we try to escape emotional discomfort or pain. The individual must navigate through the pain to a place where they can fully function and manage their life moving forward in a healthy way. There are a number of avenues by which we can be affected. Using the acronym T.A.N.G.L.E.D. (Trauma, Abandonment, Grief, Loss, Expectations, Disappointment) and various offshoots of these, we can usually find specific ways in which a soul received pain.
E- Evaluate The Pain. To know when the emotional discomfort or pain began, a thorough search into one's childhood, family of origin and other circumstance must take place. This is sometimes a scary proposition for many who have spent their whole life trying to distance themselves from the traumatic experience(s). The way we do this is to talk through FEELINGS, NEEDS, TRUTH. Feelings are like symptoms that show us where our true need(s) lie. When needs are exposed it helps us understand what has been driving and dictating our behaviors for so long. Truth allows us to determine what narrative or emotional construct we have erected causing us to see ourselves, others and most importantly, God through a filter which may not be correct.
E - Emerge From The Pain. Just like a baby bird fighting through its shell or the butterfly fighting to remove itself from its cocoon, there is a necessary part played by you but in joint effort with God. If the bird or butterfly is not allowed to fight for its survival it will not have the strength to survive. Likewise this is an inherent trait of these creatures given to them by God. What is it that he individual must do according to how God has created them and what is it that God must be allowed to do in order to bring one to a place of healing and freedom?
L - Let It Go. A phrase made even more famous by Disney, Let it Go is much more than just forgetting about it. It is a proactive stance against that which has wreaked havoc in one's soul for a very long time. It involves three elements. FORGIVENESS, RELEASING, BLESSING. We need to forgive the individual who hurt us. We must release them holding no offense toward them and allow God to deal with them instead of us. We must also bless them, taking a stance that longs to see them find their place and purpose in life as well as their own healing from what has caused them to hurt us in the first place.
RESOURCES
The various books we use a/o recommend in coaching, depending on the need are:
INNER CHILD RECOVERY PROCESS
Going Deeper by Eddie Capparucci
Going Deeper Workbook by Eddie Capparucci
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Faithful and True, Mark Laaser
Live Pure and Free, Dave Howe (90 Day Devotional - highly recommended)
Unwanted, Jay Stringer
Shattered Vows, Debra Laaser
Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs & Workbook
The Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas
Out of the Doghouse for Christian Men, Rob Weiss and Marnie Feree
(all are linked to Amazon for easy ordering)
The various books we use a/o recommend in coaching, depending on the need are:
INNER CHILD RECOVERY PROCESS
Going Deeper by Eddie Capparucci
Going Deeper Workbook by Eddie Capparucci
------------------------
Faithful and True, Mark Laaser
Live Pure and Free, Dave Howe (90 Day Devotional - highly recommended)
Unwanted, Jay Stringer
Shattered Vows, Debra Laaser
Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs & Workbook
The Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas
Out of the Doghouse for Christian Men, Rob Weiss and Marnie Feree
(all are linked to Amazon for easy ordering)
TESTING
At The Silent Addiction, we MANDATE a Temperament Analysis Test for any individual receiving coaching as well as for any betrayed spouse who will be a part of the coaching session at sometime. The cost for the testing can be paid for below or can also be paid over whatever cash transfer app you choose. The testing is completed online. Reese is a Certified Temperament Counselor.
SUPPORT NETWORK
Mandated for the addict and highly suggested for the betrayed spouse, you must also have or be in the middle of setting up a support network of people who will EFFECTIVELY hold you accountable. The Law of Three. A person who can mentor you. A person that you can mentor. A peer that holds you accountable but also offers down time and fun. This can be made up of closer personal friends/family members, mentors or leaders but we request never your spouse at this time. She must heal. Hard questions must be asked. An initial support network should be full of at least one person who contacts you daily for 30 days to see how you are doing and hold you accountable for your behaviors. The Silent Addiction can help those in your support network learn effectively how to hold you accountable in love. Remember "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection."
BE BROKEN
The Silent Addiction is also connected with Be Broken, a national men's ministry working with men and their sex addictions. Through their subsidiary, Gateway to Freedom, weekend intensives are offered roughly 4-6 times a year in Orlando, FL, San Antonio, TX and Mt. Bethel, PA. We highly recommend that any addict seeking help for the first time, or the first time in a long time, attend one of these all inclusive intensives that they offer during the year. For a very reasonable price, you have lodging, food, training, personal counseling and all resource materials. The Silent Addiction offers support in the way of counseling at a number of these intensives as well as taking part in their mentoring and aftercare ministries.
At The Silent Addiction, we MANDATE a Temperament Analysis Test for any individual receiving coaching as well as for any betrayed spouse who will be a part of the coaching session at sometime. The cost for the testing can be paid for below or can also be paid over whatever cash transfer app you choose. The testing is completed online. Reese is a Certified Temperament Counselor.
SUPPORT NETWORK
Mandated for the addict and highly suggested for the betrayed spouse, you must also have or be in the middle of setting up a support network of people who will EFFECTIVELY hold you accountable. The Law of Three. A person who can mentor you. A person that you can mentor. A peer that holds you accountable but also offers down time and fun. This can be made up of closer personal friends/family members, mentors or leaders but we request never your spouse at this time. She must heal. Hard questions must be asked. An initial support network should be full of at least one person who contacts you daily for 30 days to see how you are doing and hold you accountable for your behaviors. The Silent Addiction can help those in your support network learn effectively how to hold you accountable in love. Remember "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection."
BE BROKEN
The Silent Addiction is also connected with Be Broken, a national men's ministry working with men and their sex addictions. Through their subsidiary, Gateway to Freedom, weekend intensives are offered roughly 4-6 times a year in Orlando, FL, San Antonio, TX and Mt. Bethel, PA. We highly recommend that any addict seeking help for the first time, or the first time in a long time, attend one of these all inclusive intensives that they offer during the year. For a very reasonable price, you have lodging, food, training, personal counseling and all resource materials. The Silent Addiction offers support in the way of counseling at a number of these intensives as well as taking part in their mentoring and aftercare ministries.
PAYMENT FOR SERVICES
The price for each 50-minute coaching session (therapeutic hour) is $85.00 and the mandated Temperament Analysis cost's $35.00 if you are coming on board for long term coaching. Payment for sessions will be given before or immediately following the coaching session if using a mobile app. We accept Venmo, Zelle and Cash App and of course below through Square. If paying via credit or debit card, such information will be requested at the time you fill out policies and procedures paperwork. Payment for testing will precede testing and will be completed prior to the first coaching session.
We do not accept insurance.
The price for each 50-minute coaching session (therapeutic hour) is $85.00 and the mandated Temperament Analysis cost's $35.00 if you are coming on board for long term coaching. Payment for sessions will be given before or immediately following the coaching session if using a mobile app. We accept Venmo, Zelle and Cash App and of course below through Square. If paying via credit or debit card, such information will be requested at the time you fill out policies and procedures paperwork. Payment for testing will precede testing and will be completed prior to the first coaching session.
We do not accept insurance.
